One Year Without Social Media - My Reflection
On January 25, 2021, I chose to make a drastic change in my relationship with social media.
HERE IS MY REFLECTION OF THE BEFORE, DURING AND AFTER.
Know that the thoughts I share are not intended to persuade your decision to quit social media. I am sharing my experience in the hope that you may relate in some way and find clarity to help you determine where social media fits in your life too.
The Before:
User of Facebook since 2007 - I own a personal & business account. Posting regularly.
Dabbled with Instagram for a few years, deleted it once then went back, and have permanently deleted it a second time. I had created a couple of accounts for both personal and business.
Linkedin for professional & business purposes.
Explored Twitter & Tiktok but chose not to use them from the beginning. Snapchat I never got into.
Youtube for research, locating information and learning, Pinterest for creative inspiration. These I don’t consider part of my social media detox as I don’t find myself clicking into the app or mindlessly scrolling through. I use these if I am looking for something in particular.
I worked through a lot of conflicting thoughts around social media usage for years, and I wasn’t sure what place I wanted to have it in my life.
SOCIAL MEDIA IS SUCH A PREVALENT PART OF OUR WORLD, IT’S NOT A SIMPLE SOLUTION FOR ANYONE TO FIGURE OUT. our culture teaches us that it is now an inevitable aspect of our life. For better or for worse.
There were a lot of positives, after all that is why I kept using it. However, I was also left feeling tired of the numbing scroll and my unconscious habit of clicking the apps without being aware of it.
Back in 2020, I wrote in my journal around what was feeling misaligned when it came to using social media and how it affected me on a daily basis. At the time, I was rumbling with the uncertainty of it.
I share with you what I wrote to myself below:
What feels misaligned?
Mindless scrolling/time wasting
Lack of objective for posting and coming up with content especially in business.
An unconscious belief that “what isn’t shared isn’t real”. Sharing feels vulnerable and at times not even appropriate, but not sharing sometimes feels isolating and lonely.
“What do I really get out of posting?” or “Am I posting to prove something to myself?”
The truth that social media can become an unhealthy addiction, feeding comparison, lack of self-confidence, doubt & judgement. Never feeling good enough. The highlight reels and illusion of reality. Worrying what others think.
The feeling that if i’m not part of social media, I may miss out on important information, events, news & life updates of people I know. FOMO.
The fast-paced excessive amount of information being fed at me repeatedly.
What would social media feel like if it was aligned?
Being inspired, learning new ideas and exploring interests
Making an impact on others in an inspiring, positive & meaningful way
Content from a ‘real-life person’ perspective.
Setting boundaries around my time, ensuring that I am in control of when I use social media and who/what I choose to follow.
Being part of groups/communities that feel supportive and inspiring. Making connections with others.
Feeling secure to unplug whenever necessary without the fear of missing out.
Being informed about what is happening in the world, but on my terms.
Being in control of what I choose to consume.
I explored ways to use social media in “healthier” ways, but as you know it's designed to keep your attention. It doesn’t take long before you are back in the vortex, scrolling the feeds like a gambler at the casino. I noticed the impact of this addictive behavior repeatedly, always leaving me feeling the same.
I felt conflicted between stepping away vs staying connected.
Being in the middle of Covid didn’t help make this decision any easier, as now more than ever we are relying on the virtual world to stay connected. There’s so much information coming from the media, opinions and distorted information.
I tried the approach of taking multiple breaks - stepping away, checking the apps at certain times of the day or deleting them and looking only at specified times. Before I knew it, I was back in the same habits; getting sucked down a wormhole on the feed watching a mindless video about eyebrows. Funny.. but sadly, true!
The During:
On January 25th, 2021, I declared to myself that I was no longer going to use Facebook/Instagram; giving myself an open-ended date to explore what life could look like without it.
I knew I needed to give myself enough time to experience what life was like without it so that I could create a new normal. I wrote down all my fears around why I couldn’t do this, and then created solutions.
This is what the change of “no social media” looked like:
I deleted all Facebook posts dating back from 2007 to date on my personal profile, leaving only a few remaining photos. I saved anything I wanted to keep as a memory by downloading it and adding to my digital journal.
Kept my business Facebook profile as-is.
Facebook profiles are still active, but have become a place to only utilize the Marketplace for selling items or connecting in couple of important groups that I am a part of. I avoid the feed.
I updated my profile photos on both personal/business pages a couple of times over the year but did not post or scroll through the feed.
Deleted my Instagram & Linkedin account.
Continued to utilize Pinterest & Youtube for research/learning purposes as long as it was for a particular reason.
Positive steps I took to set myself up for success:
Replaced my existing habit with a more positive, nourishing habit. I purchased a 1 year subscription to Medium, and began reading insightful articles anytime I was prompted to open my phone. I bookmarked articles and followed authors I enjoyed reading.
I purchased an e-reader, and download books from the library for free.
Reached out to the people on social media I wanted to keep a close connection with. I told them that I was no longer going to be on the platform and how to connect with me through other means.
Put all birthday reminders into my calendar so Facebook didn’t have to remind me.
Utilize my DayOne digital journal to see “On This Day” reminders of memories.
Explored alternative ways to grow my business which included putting a focus on my email list, creating content on my website, networking through connections with other business owners and building close relationships with clients.
Focused on other aspects of my life I wanted to grow.
Purchased a pair of wireless headphones to make a point of talking with family & friends on the phone while out on a walk, reaching out regularly via text or email and making in person plans/Zoom coffee dates.
Revisited my “misalignment list” to remind myself of why I made this decision when/if I felt the pull to go back.
I shifted my perception of FOMO to JOMO instead - the joy of missing out! Knowing I can’t realistically be up to speed on everything happening. And this is OKAY.
The After
What is life like today, one year later?
I can say with full confidence that I do not need to post or scroll on social media to feel connected to the world and the important people in my life. I feel more intentional with my time and it has freed up the space for me to focus on other aspects of my life.
It has allowed me to grow my business and reach more people than ever before (I promise you don’t actually need social media to grow your biz!).
There are social platforms that I use for a designated purpose - whether it’s looking up a design idea on Pinterest, an item to sell on FB Marketplace or a tutorial on Youtube. I even borrowed a friend’s Instagram login (from her dog’s account) so I could look up a home project company I was seeking more information on. There is always a way!
As a business owner, I feared that social media may be the only way to market and network however I was very wrong. There are many alternative ways to grow and stay connected. My focus is now on creating valuable content for my email subscribers, my website and blog. The fear that there was no other way around this has faded away, and I can focus on aspects that give me joy to share.
Instead of thinking about what you are going to lose by changing the way you use social media, ask yourself, “What could I gain?”.
When I shifted my perspective to what I was gaining vs losing, I began to see alternative ways.
Will I ever go back to these platforms in the way I did? Never say never. Technology is evolving and shifting so quickly. But I know one thing for sure is that I will want to make sure it is on my terms - Intentionally & Purposefully.
